Real Friends

Hello lovelies!

I am sorry that I haven’t posted much lately. I have a lot going on and I needed time to sit back and take care of myself.

As I grow older, I am more aware of who my real friends are and I’m sure you are all the same. I am conscious of real friend and fake friend traits and how they differ. Over the years, I have had many fake friends, but also many real ones. I have also had friends who I thought to be real but turned out to be otherwise. That hurt the most.

Below are a few things I have learnt recently:

HOW TO NOTICE FAKE FRIENDS

Fake friends only talk about themselves. Have you ever been with a friend and the conversation is very one sided? It almost feels like they are talking at you, not with you. This can vary from updates on their life or their feelings and stresses. Naturally you help them and give any advice possible but they never took time to acknowledge you.

Fake friends never take the time to acknowledge your issues so you end up, not only with their issues to worry about and attempt to help solve, but your own as they haven’t offered you any support.

I put this down to the fact that fake friends don’t know how to deal with your ups and downs, or they quite simply, don’t want to so they change the subject which more often than not, will circle back to them.

This is when you know you have become a therapist and not a friend. They only contact you to pour out their hearts and for you to provide them with some sort of solution or advice. Yes, that’s what friends should do but it should never be one-sided. Reciprocity is key in friendship.

Fake friends gossip about everyone, even you. This is one that really gets to me. We all have our own different friends. That’s natural and I believe to be healthy. However, if one friend confines in you, that does not give you the right to tell your other friends, but, fake friends believe otherwise. Once a friend comes to me, gossiping about another friend, I immediately know they cannot be trusted. It probably turns out that they are gossiping about me too!

HOW TO NOTICE REAL FRIENDS

They keep in contact. No matter the time or distance, it is always the same when you get back together. I am not someone who has to see or talk to their friends 24/7 but it only takes seconds to check in once in a while, am I right? A simple, “Hi, how are you? lets catch up” goes a long way. I know people who maintain the mindset of “everyone has their own lives and things going on, they’re fine” Yes, people have their own lives, which is why you don’t need to see someone 24/7 to remain friends but how would you know they’re fine if you never check on them?

Real friends are there through the good and bad times. You laugh together and you cry.

The truth is, everyone has something going on in their lives, it is inevitable. If you’re true friends, you take time to be there for one another. You never leave one with yours and their own issues. You take time to be there for them as they are for you. You grow together NOT apart. Again, reciprocity is key!

Real friends are straight with one another. Honesty plays a big part in friendship. They care and because they care, they will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. If they think that something you’re doing isn’t right, they’ll tell you. Not to upset you or cause conflict, but because they want better things for you and your future. They see better things for you and always have your best interests at heart. Nonetheless, they’re still there for you.

FRIENDSHIP BREAKUPS

Once I became more aware of the difference between real and fake friends, allowing fake friends to be apart of my life became very draining. I am learning to grow as a person and live a life that I desire. I don’t want any dead weight around, only supportive and caring friends are now in my circle and I have never felt better!

After a breakup, even if it is only platonic, you can still feel very lost or upset. If you once spent a lot of time with that person, it is only natural to feel that way. Nonetheless, if they did not possess the traits you want in a friend, are they really a loss? I am so grateful to have good, true friends in my life, there are few around!

Have you experienced fake friends? How did you become to realise that they weren’t real? leave a comment!

Stay happy, stand strong and dream big!

Talk soon xoxo